Most of us walk through life buried in our circumstances, never grasping the signs of the times. Buried in emotions of shame, fear, regret, self-loathing, imposter syndrome, or addictions: sex, food, gambling, alcohol, opioids, and social media. Many of these feelings result from a childhood traumatic event, past sexual violence, or a betrayal by someone you trusted. When that betrayal is by a member of the clergy, church, or under the guise of religion, it can be extremely challenging to overcome.
I can tell you, though, Christ did not betray you, God did not betray you, man did under the false promises of this world. Jesus is love, Jesus is hope, Jesus is peace, Jesus is mercy, Jesus is calm, and there is no Fear where Perfect Love exists, the Perfect Love that Christ represents to all those who diligently seek Him.
I used to hide in the bathroom with my Bible clutched in my hand and beg God to save me from the "monster." I was but a child, able to read, daring to hope in a Savior who would "rescue" me from a troubling situation. He never came when I did that. Where was He? Why did He not come? He must hate me; I am so dirty, covered in shame.
This realization, or false belief created in my mind to bring me some semblance of peace, was a lie planted by satan to keep me from the peace of finding the Holy Spirit and letting Him rule over my life. Satan had me believing God had deserted me, that I was dirty and not worthy of a father's love (heavenly or earthly) after all mine (earthly) had left when I was a toddler and died by suicide when I was about fourteen or fifteen.
Years later, after panic attacks and addictions threatened to consume me, I was transformed by the love of Christ and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. In surrendering, I found a love, peace that surpasses all understanding, and a pleasant stillness free of the chaos that addiction and sin bring.
Watch this Video of His Promises Working in and Through My Life to Set Me Free
"I was set free by His love, mercy, and grace. The weight of the trauma, the icky, lifted off. Never lose hope, never give up. Christ is the answer." – Tammy Toney-Butler
Click on the link above to learn more about our healing ministry.
Click on the link above to find the way to salvation and freedom as I did by praying this prayer.
Click on the link above for hotline assistance. There is no shame in seeking help when overwhelmed by life and circumstances. Please do not take your life; the world is a better place with you in it. Trust me, a day never goes by that I do not long for my earthly father; no matter how broken he perceived himself to be, my love never saw his brokenness, only the little girl longing for a father.
My father died by suicide because he felt tremendous guilt for walking away from us at an early age and later learning how I had been victimized. My father was a man who survived Vietnam and became a police officer, only to lose the battle with complex PTSD and alcohol he used to cope, as so many are doing today.
You are not alone. Forgive yourself; it does not matter what you did. You do not have to quit life. An affair that led to a broken marriage, a harsh word spoken in a moment of anger after an emotional flashback takes over, and an inability to make it to that soccer game or school event.
Hope is Possible, Stop Letting Life Pass You By, Dying a Little More Each Day, Instead Find Life Again
There is hope. I have found the answer. I made it back from the darkness, and you can too. You can find the light. Christ is the answer.
(All photos are stock photos from Wix, Unsplash, or Shutterstock).
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